Tomorrow, August 11 I’ll be turning 28; at this state I should already adult in every aspects of our life. Some people at this age already have family and already settled. Know the things they want and know how to fix their problems.
Just recently, I looked back at the pages of my blog and journals I wrote before during a short, difficult journey in my life, and I was struck by the way how I handle my problems specially those heart-felt struggles.
“What is my problem? Constantly searching…constantly confused. I know God has a plan, all I have to do is trust Him…but it seems I’m incapable of that (not trusting God but incapable of waiting). Why is it, that although I know what my problems are, I still fail? Time and time again I stumble. I keep on going along and screwing up my life, complicating things. It’s like I’m in a constant state of stupid or really I’m just stupid after all. Why? Is it lack of faith? Will Power? Character? I know that it all boils down to that fact that I’m a sinner…but there has to be something more specific. Something I can work on, train myself away from. What is it? I’m so sick of myself.”
Looking back those times I just laughed to myself and thinking how stupid I am.
It’s not always clear to us at first His purpose in our lives until stumble and see the bigger picture. In fact, sometimes we simply can’t make sense of the things we go through, or the pain we cause ourselves. Sometimes we may wonder why—no matter how hard we may try—we cannot fix ourselves. But this is not really the question we should be asking. Trying to answer that question can leave us up burned out, emotionally drained, or even disenchanted with our loving God.
This is how I will celebrate my birthday and keeping promise to myself that next time I’ll be more wiser (need to cross the word more since I am not wise before LOL) Shalom!!!
Posted by My Journey:There&Back Again.. on November 26, 2010 at 8:20 AM
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Posted by keicelestine on August 11, 2010 at 8:05 AM
Good orning Sir Raymond, and happy birthday!!! ^_^ Diane of GL here, ^.~. happened to spot this entry thru yahoo updates and decided to take a quick greet. Sorry for snopping >.<. 28 is still fairly young, and maturity doesn't come with age, it comes with time and experience. And I believe, that you're quite mature already since you are well aware that you have screwed up and that you still have loads of things to learn,a nd can even laugh at the past stupidities, then you yourself have grown. And life is a long journey, old age is a certainty but youth is a bliss, so don't rush into the wisom of old age since it can be gained through time and experience. Enjoy youth adn stay young in body and spirit.
Wishing you all the best, and another fruitful and happy year ahead. again, sorry for snooping and happy birthday ^_^
Posted by Raymond Torre on August 11, 2010 at 10:05 AM
Thanks Diane for the greet and for the niec and wonderfule comment. NO need to say sorry my blog can be viewed publicly
I’ve always told myself, that only by learning as a person can I grow. Even mistakes, they do play an important role in everyone’s life.
Thanks again for the greetings
Posted by blackphoenix on August 10, 2010 at 8:47 PM
hey! cheer up! its your birthday tom! EMO?! hehehe:-p just enjoy your life, dont think too much just go with the flow… try changing your lifestyle.. meet more friends and try to explore the world, in that way you can find yourself what you really want and what you don’t.
In short be adventurous! Get out of your comfort zone…
Posted by Reid Emmanuel on August 11, 2010 at 7:41 AM
not really EMO..just tracking back things over the past few years of my life..not young anymore to commit such mistakes again hahaha